Cole and I have been talking a lot lately. He wants to know how I feel about possibly moving to VA when he gets back from Iraq in March. Heavy subject. It's funny though because Cole just turned 19 in February and I'll be 21 this year in October. And somehow he seems more mature than me at times. It could be the whole Navy/Iraq thing who knows. "I'm not playing games and I'm not trying to have some high school love relationship type thing. I have a son now and I need to decide what I'm going to do with my life and where I'm going." I understand all this. Was I expecting that to come from him? Not at all. "So it's up to you what you want to do. I really want you to move here to VA but I know that's a really big decision. Especially for you because you'll be leaving all of your friends, family and everything you know. So take your time and think about it I'm not expecting an answer right now." I didn't really think about the leaving my family and friends part. I mean I thought about it but it really hit me hard when he said it. I kind of wish I would have given him a chance last year but I was just so done with Luis I didnt want to hop into another relationship. But I like him and it could work. "If we're serious about this we have to really build a strong relationship because I won't be out until 2013. I know it's a long time and it's going to be really hard. But thats why if we're going to do this we have to do it right." Gosh he sounds more mature than me. He's really thought this out. It'll be nice to visit him for a week. But it will suck when I have to leave. Or if we end up together. It'll suck everytime he has to leave. And it'll suck everyday he's gone. I hate getting used to something and getting comfortable for it just to get all screwed up. Could I handle him being gone for months at a time? Can I even handle not being selfish and being supportive for him?

Do I feel like this because the opportunity has presented itself and I feel like I need to take it? I've had offers before. But maybe because this one seems more solid I feel more pressure. I'm sure the opportunity will present itself again. Who knows....


Oh and needless to say Rhian is blahhh!!!! The other night when he got back he hit me up at 2am.

"I want you."
"I want you too."
"Make it happen. Now."
"Then come over"
"I can't. You cum over."
"Can't it's too late."

Make it happen...now??? Is he serious...? I am slowly losing interest. And it sucks because i had such high hopes for him. And he's totally screwing it over. It's all his fault.

♥ I feel you in my heart, and I don't even know you {: 3:32 PM