Guys tend to be so simple yet complex at the same time. I guess once you're in the "know" of your guys complexity, it becomes so simple. Now because my brain is always running 98765467 miles a minute, I feel compelled to get my thoughts all out.

Now I'm a problem solver. I like to know how to do things. But it's not just about doing. It's about me figuring out why and what different things work for different situations. I'm always on the edge ready to make a breakthrough. Like it's sitting on the tip of my tongue, but on the tip of my brain.

I'm obsessed with perfecting relationships and being able to be in control how things play out. Not necessarily play by play because that would be boring. Just enough to nudge it in the direction I would like it to go. Guess I have an underlying minor control issue.

Dealing with guys is a science. By using and changing different variables you're bound to get a solution right...So what does it take to keep a guy happy? Apparently they need a lot of space. But I think they minimize the need a bit out of consideration for us. Now females tend to act on emotions. We care about a person so much it sends us into this auto maternal mode or something. I mean isn't it common that when you like something you want it all the time. At least pretty often. So yeah if I like a guy I might want to hang out with him kind of often. Maybe not always everyday but I'm not all affectionate and lovey dovey 24/7 so a lot of times us hanging out would be just that. Us hanging out. Like friends.

See even though I like a guy doesn't mean I want to be under him all the time. I just think it's fun to have someone to do things with. Who doesn't want to be able to just pick up the phone and be like "Hey! Let's go ride some go-karts." I'm almost jealous of the high school kids who are hanging out everyday all summer long, doing fun stuff or maybe not even doing anything. Idk. I just don't see what the big deal is with guys and why they need so much space. I mean if a guy really likes a girl and he acts on his feelings then he would be just like us. Wanting to see us a lot. So why can't you guys just sympathize with us....

I think in order for a relationship to work, some things can't be 50/50. I can't equally want to be around you as much as you want to be around me because then everything is perfect. There's no room for growth. And I don't think you appreciate the person as much. Like with Rhian, when I do see him I'm excited because it doesn't happen often. Which makes me just want to see him even more. In order for this to work someone has to pull the strings. They have to control it. Im supposed to be the one making him want me knowing I can see him whenever. Not vice versa.

Now normally when you lose control you can manipulate the situation. Sending a random text saying "you suck" usually does the trick for me. It always flips the script and then they're wondering what they did wrong and they try to fix it. With Rhian it's a bit different. He thinks just like me. Except he's usually one step ahead of me. If I send a flirty text or picture I usually get a response. Doesn't exactly work now. If I ask him early in the week if he wants to do something he will usually ignore it or say maybe. He'll wait until the day of when I think he doesn't want to do anything and he'll text me last minute and ask if I want to hang out. Seriously...is it really that big of a deal. Can you guys not handle a girl asking you out? Maybe he's trying to train me. Have me conditioned to act a certain way.

Maybe I should be a regular girl and sit around and wait for him to call and ask me out. Or maybe I'll just stop caring like Im used to and when he hits me up he hits me up. Yeah im probably ruining the chase. God you guys are impossible.

♥ I feel you in my heart, and I don't even know you {: 11:17 PM