Hmmm...a lot has happened in between May 31st and June 5th. Wait a lot has happened between then and now also. Okay let's see if I can start from the beginning.

Well for starters the ex (J) is back. He told me he wants to go to the military and asked me would I go with him. At first I'm like "eh, military really isn't for me" but then he said "no I mean come live with me there." Whoa. Did I just get hit by a bus? Then somehow he asked me to marry him. Now I'm sure I was hit by a bus. I mean totally out of way left field. It came out of nowhere. I told him that he could not ask me that. Especially after all of this time. And I pretty much said no. He told me he's been making so many wrong decisions in his life (who are you telling) that he finally wants to make the right one. He asked me to think about it while he's away in boot camp. Well then. After we broke up I said I'd never go back. We click so well, and we'll always be friends but I just don't want to marry him. I'm not in love with him anymore. Sucks how some things work out.

After that happened...frat boy offered me a car when he graduates and to pay for my tuition to be with him. I told him he couldn't buy me and he said he knows he was just kidding. But I wonder, was he really?

Kyle is back from rehab and wasted no time calling me. Of course he wanted to see me and it's just like "omg not all over again." He said he thinks rehab was good for him because he was so caught up in his weed addiction and I mean that was all he cared about. I had to leave because I just couldn't take it anymore. But we talked and he was saying how he liked me and thought it was wrong of me when I started dating Luis and what not. And I told him that I just needed to be away from him because he wasn't listening to me and didn't want my help and there was nothing else left I could do for him except separate myself. I saw him Wednesday night for a little bit. We talked watched Mean Girls lol and Real World and it was just like old times. I did tell him about Alan so at least he's not in the dark about what's going on.

Kadee's 21st birthday was on Wednesday and I wanted Rhian to go with but he couldn't come because his god son's baseball game was that night so I said no biggie. I was really unsure about going to Kadee's birthday dinner without him because I knew I wouldn't know Kadee's friends except for her bf Adam. Who btw is an amazing idea pitcher. I'm sure he can talk anyone into anything. Anyway, I decided to go and I ended up having a really good time. Her friends were nice and they included me and briefed me on what happened earlier that day it was really cool. I enjoyed is so I'm glad I did go. And to think I wasn't going to because I didn't want to feel awkward. But I just remember Kadee saying she just wanted me to be there. So that's what made me go.

Gilly/Christian is back. He txt me recently and it's like whoa! blast from the past much. Now that I like Alan everyone keeps popping up. I haven't heard from Christopher in awhile though. I hope everything is okay with him.

But I think Im falling out of like with Rhian again. I haven't really talked to him much as usual and I havent seen him since the first. so tomorrow that will make 2 weeks and im sure I wont be seeing him this weekend either. I know he likes me. But I think he wants to drag this out as long as he can because he doesn't want to get too wrapped up in a relationship. The first time he spoke to me he said I'm the type of girl he could see himself with. But that he didn't want to rush and jump into anything. He's not the kind of guy to just say some bullshit he's one of the most upfront blunt guys I've met in awhile. I just don't get why he won't let himself get close yet. When we're together everything is perfect. I just hate the "in between". It just sucks because there's so much I want to do and a lot of time he's the only one I want to do them with. Like he's first pick. I'd rather hang out with him than some other guy. Blah. What do guys want?

Finally, Jaydon is back. He may have a job for me too but we have to wait and see what his dad says about it. Idk. Cross your fingers.

♥ I feel you in my heart, and I don't even know you {: 11:40 PM