Is this what my life has come to? Rhian, Rhian and more Rhian. Ugh! Let's start from the beginning of last night.

My friend Manny had a party Friday night to celebrate his birthday and it was also a friend of ours Travis birthday too. So I sent Rhian a text.

"If you want to do something tonight let me know. If not, I'm going to go to this party."
"I don't know if I'll be able to but what time do you plan on leaving the party?"
"Party starts at 9 so probably around 11 or so because I'm kind of partied out. I don't plan on drinking tonight."
"Oh, so you don't want to drink with me?"
"No, I'll drink with you, I just don't want to drink with them."

After the last text I didn't hear back from him so me and Stacey went to the party. When I walked in I heard someone yell my name. So I looked over and it was Corey. Him, Travis and John were all sitting on the couch. So I went over said hey and gave everyone hugs and that was the last time Corey spoke to me the whole night. I still haven't updated you on what happened with us yet. I'll do it later. Anyway I ran into people I knew from high school and hung out with them most of the night. At one point I really just wanted to leave because of how awkward Corey was making everything. He never not speaks to me. And it was just becoming really ridiculous. So I told Manny and his gay friend was like "OMG girl do I need to kick some bitches ass..." And Manny wanted to go talk to Corey for me but I didn't want him to. So he's like "Maybe you need more to drink. Let's get you some more." Lol. I love gay guys. Manny just told me to remember I was here for him not Corey and just not to worry about it. So I didn't. I tried to have fun and just ignore him. I called him over at one point and told him don't be weird and he said he wasn't. But yeah okay.

At about 12:47 Rhian sent me a text.

"Is it too late?"
"No, I can come see you."
"Do you know where?"
"No."
"8772 Winn rd."
"Okay just tell me how to get there."

So he called me a bit later and told me how to get there so I left and headed over there.

Before I left though I told Manny bye and everyone else and he told me I should go talk to Corey now. So I went to say to bye to him and we talked. I asked him did he feel okay about everything and he said yeah. And I just told him I didn't want things to be weird with us and that he had been acting weird. He said he wasn't and that he still wanted to be friends and blah blah blah. Whatever. I really just want to forget he existed now. Hooking up with him was a big mistake.

Okay so back to Rhian. I called him when I got to a certain point and no answer. I called him again. Still nothing. So I texted him. Still nothing. When I got to the house I called and sent him a dozen text messages. Nothing. I was so bummed out. So like Rhian. Everything with him is too good to be true. I waited around for about an hour and finally I left. I called one last time and decided to leave a voicemail.

"I really just don't know what to say to you right now. Sometimes you just really really suck. Ugh. Whatever." and hung up. I was so bummed I just went to bed when I got home at about 4am.

Now this morning I get a text from him.

"Oh my god. I'm so so so sorry. I fell asleep and my phone didn't wake me up. I fucked up real
bad. I'm so sorry. You gotta hate me now. So so sorry."
"I don't hate you."
"You should. That was bullshit on my part. I knew I was tired but I wanted to see you. I even ditched the people I was with...I should have stayed awake. I'm sorry."

Sometimes I wonder how real his apologies are. I told him he could make it up to me. His text messages stopped after that. Ugh!!!!! Why is he so dificult...

I get the feeling he just puts in enough effort to keep me around and interested. Like he's saving me for later. I'm not going anywhere. He doesn't have to make everything so difficult.

♥ I feel you in my heart, and I don't even know you {: 5:54 PM